Suicide and depression are tragic. And many people choose to dishonor the portrayers of suicide by calling them cowards. I think this is wrong. I do not believe that suicide is a cowardly act, but that it is a way to grasp what is yours and take your final chance and leave your mark on this world. In The Tragedy of Julius Caesar, Brutus commits suicide. He was a true martyr and died for Rome. People just love that. But when the depressed kid down the street, who gets abused by his parents and made fun of at school for his eccentric personality and clothing options, slits his wrists he gets called a coward. Why? Because people see what they want to see. And that is wrong.
Who gets to decide whether the death in question is an act of cowardice or of power? Of taking what final option given to us by Life and killing ourselves. When we get put on this earth we don't get to choose our environment and life. Life is no "Choose-Your-Own-Adventure" book. We get thrown into whatever, by whoever "creates us". This is where my faith in the Christian religion falters, why would a God who supposedly loves us put us in a situation where we get beat, raped, abused, made fun of, etc.? Suicide is sometimes the last option for a person. And, that's why suicide is an act of power, it's humans taking what final option they have and setting out on that new adventure called death.
I think you discuss two different concepts: Brutus and his comrades committed suicide because they were ashamed of what they had done, and suicide was culturally accepted at that time. Brutus was certainly no coward. The idea of the matyr is tied to a political or religious belief; to die for one's cause may be considered honorable.
ReplyDeleteFor the individual who is depressed and/or abused, to say that their suicide is cowardice may be a bit strong, but it is certainly not an act of power or triumph. If cowardice is too strong, then defeat is perhaps a better word. There is no power in suicide. To kill yourself is to admit the ultimate defeat, the defeat of your own life. It is to return the power to the abuser, the rapist, to say that I cannot withstand these assaults so I will simply complete the assault on myself and take my own life.
When I called suicide an act of cowardice, I was recalling an essay I read several years ago where a young girl spoke of her father's suicide. His suicide ruined her life and her brother's life because the father indicated that it was because of them he killed himself, because of a divorce, and that he couldn't go on as a result. The girl said that she felt he was cowardly because instead of trying to face the problem, of trying to fix it, of seeing the good in his life, he bailed out. She spoke in very graphic terms of cleaning up the mess of his bloody death, sweeping up the blood in a dustpan.
I never forgot that essay because I never thought of suicide like that before. I always felt sorry for the suicide victim. I'm not saying I don't still feel sorry for someone who can no longer fight the fight, but I do think that they wanted to quit. And they didn't care about those they left behind and what the effect the suicide had on them.
I would be pissed if someone I cared about committed suicide because it meant that I meant very little to them that they would hurt me so.